Saturday, November 21, 2009

What Lies Ahead?

I stayed home the whole day awaiting the arrival of my new set of furniture. Did some soul searching. I began to think, what do I really want? Till now, the answer is a question mark. I'm unsure of what I want in the future. Right now, it's like "see what good then take what" kinda feeling. I suddenly feel so powerless, I began to realise I couldnt control my fate.

Anyway, today isnt a good day to began with. I shall not elaborate further. People who needs to know, knew what happened already. I just hope by Monday, everything can come to a proper ending, or at least a good ending. I'm tired of facing all the shit at home and outside. I dont know what to do anymore. One more wrong step and everything falls.

At night I went to Zhi Hao's wake. I got to "see" him for a final time. He was peaceful. Saw a few friends. Some whom I havent seen for a long time. It's a good feeling to see each other again. But again, I thought to myself, why must we only meet up during such events? Life is short, really short. And unpredictable. We must all learn to cherish and live each day to it's fullest. You never know what can happen the next moment of your life. One second can mean alot of things. I hope Amanda and ZH's family can move on properly. And to ZH, Rest In Peace bro. A final farewell to you. Goodbye.

*i tried to smile, but nothing came out

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